I love a good pun. I am proud of this first newsletter headline for that reason.
I am not going to waste time introducing this new endeavor, which is really an emailed blog aka a casual portal into my mind. I just want to get this message out there for whoever is open to receiving it. I believe in my heart it will be useful and clarifying for someone, as it has been for me.
I am also not going to make a big fuss about being someone who is spiritual and believes in the unseen, and is on an ever-changing yet consistent journey of elevation and the quest for life’s deeper meanings. I have been interpreting symbols and receiving messages since I was a child so this is not an artificial, trendy, new pursuit for me, but it has taken me a while to learn how to channel my power in this way, and at thirty years old I am finally comfortable embracing the fact that I am indeed different…and it’s something I’m actually very proud of. I suppose the only introduction this newsletter needs is that I am still learning how to rise in my power and accept myself in all of my multifacetedness, and here’s where I will document some of that process. Maybe it will resonate with you.
Here are some facts: I am a Virgo, I am a Californian, I am a Black woman, I am a writer, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a vessel, I am a messenger, I am a supporter, I am a friend, I am a student, I am a sage, I am a complicated soul, I am a gem.
I rarely do anything without deep and laborious planning and fixation, but I am creating this post on a whim and somehow it feels right. I actually don’t care one bit about how it’s perceived — if at all! And so I feel free.
Tonight’s message is powered by a fascinating confluence of ideas and events that all came together in the last 24 hours, in a way that felt so magical I had to document my thoughts and feelings in an extemporaneous voice note so as to not miss (or forget) the moment. The result is the 15 minute 32 second audio recording herewithin.
Essentially, after midnight on August 12, 2024 I was free writing some thoughts on Twitter/X (as I often do) — some published, some saved to drafts. I will include them below* so you can see my train of thought on the same day California would be greeted by an earthquake, which of course caused a shift (one that my spirit definitely felt coming). As an earth sign and an Angeleno, I have never feared the trembles of fault lines, which is funny because feeling grounded is so essential to my mental and emotional health. A disturbance to our foundation should rattle me, but it never has. Today, however, it shook me into some timely realizations.
Currently, the astrology weather has Mercury Retrograde in Virgo, which means that communication is vibrating (perhaps why I’m sending my first missive?) and anxiety brought on by observing too much is compromising the air. If ignorance is bliss, this season will be decidedly non-blissful, because we are so woefully aware and critical of everything and everyone. My advice? Breathe deeply, mind your business, fixate on useful routines, and try not to assume the worst.
This afternoon, I pulled a tarot card, and got the wheel of fortune. A highly symbolic major arcana card, it represents fate (or, surrendering to life / things outside of your control), positive changes (in the upright position), movement and luck in life cycles. Just sharing this as further proof that messages and signs are always connected, because what could be a more perfect theme for what I’ve been meditating on today?
Finally, I want to share something I posted to my instagram story this morning after finishing a difficult yet rewarding Pilates class for the first time in a while (I’ve been on hiatus) (remember what I said about minding your business?) I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship to my body, which is shifting (c’mon, theme!!) as I grow more deeply into my womanhood. I have always been curvy, always been thick, always had periods of fluctuating weight. Lately, if I’m honest, I’ve been noticing that I cannot eat / drink / ignore exercise like I used to…weight is settling on my body differently, and it has made me slightly insecure. But beyond insecurity, it’s really made me hard on myself, because I’ve been telling myself that the changes are no one’s fault but my own.
A recent reframing of this, however, helped me: I am a busy woman who works nearly seven days a week and doesn’t have the luxury of time for daily / consistent workouts, vices (alcohol, joints, tacos, pasta) exist because life is hard and pleasure is important and it’s ok to not be perfect and to escape through temporary satisfaction sometimes, it’s natural for women’s bodies to change as we age (heightened hormones and libido, belly fat, widening hips all prepare us to bear children, should we choose to), and it’s actually sexy to be juicy and strong and no amount of 90s/00s eating disorder culture making a comeback will make me feel uncomfortable with myself for a silhouette that changes as I do. But as Virgo energy teaches us, it’s totally okay to strive for improvement.
Anyway, I’m notoriously long-winded…the type to say “long story short” and then continue talking for 5 more minutes…so I’ll end this here. Thank you for indulging me and please let me know if anything resonates for you! I’ve already been so encouraged by positive responses to half-baked thoughts and off-the-cuff spiritual downloads I’ve shared on social media in the past, so I really appreciate the feedback and it makes me feel useful to help people…even in small, potentially insignificant ways.
You are beautiful and resilient.
Sincerely,
Evan
*P.S. below are the musings I mention in my audio note, which came just before the earthquake did….for context:
Share this post